If you give a crocheter a Trump Muffin, chances are she’ll want a mango muffin to go with it. You’ll open your recipe books and discover there is no such thing as a mango muffin. You’ll adapt a hodgepodge of recipes and hope for the best. After the mango muffins are baked and you hand them to the crocheter, she’ll say, “But they don’t look like a Trump Muffin!”
You’ll whip up some pineapple frosting for the hair. The crocheter will tell you the mango muffins aren’t nutty like Trump, so you’ll toast some coconut and sprinkle it on top.
The crocheter will smile, and while she is devouring them she’ll notice you are halfway through a bottle of wine. She’ll ask to have a glass of wine, too. While she enjoys her wine, she’ll remember that Trump drove her to drink.
Chances are, if she has another glass of wine, she’ll ask you to make a Trump Muffin to go with it.
Because I love you *and* I love muffins, I couldn’t make a crocheted Trump Muffin pattern without a yummy mango muffin recipe to accompany it.
The Trump Muffin idea was originally intended to be Cupcake Trump. While I was hooking away, I thought about what a Trump cupcake might taste like. Mango and pineapple were natural choices, because they fit the general color scheme. Trump’s kind of nutty, so I thought toasted coconut sprinkles would be a nice addition to the tropical theme of these muffins.
It’s harder to make a good fruit cupcake than you’d think, though. The moisture content of the fruit tends to overwhelm the cake’s ability to rise into the nice airy crumb you expect when biting into a cupcake.
The easy solution is to make a white cake cupcake and then use a fruit filling. But, I wanted this recipe to be quick and easy so that idea was out. I tested a bunch of different methods and recipes for making mango cupcakes, but the end result was consistent: what came out of the oven were mango muffins.
So, I decided to adapt the crochet pattern to match the baked goods I was producing.
This is how we ended up with mango muffins that have frosting on top!
No biggie. I mean, muffins with frosting on top make as much sense as President Trump. Who says you can’t have frosting on muffins, anyway? We create our own reality in this political climate, so I say frosting on muffins is totally appropriate. And also scrumptious.
Seriously y’all, the mango muffins on their own are amazeballs. They’re moist, not too sweet, and have just the right amount of mango flavor. And the pineapple frosting! (I might have been caught eating it by the spoonful while cooking dinner.) The toasted coconut on top is perfect.
Bonus: After Trump does away with the EPA and our planet warms up, most of us in the US will be able to grow mangoes, pineapples, and coconuts right in our backyards and enjoy the muffins while sitting in a hammock on our new beachfront property. I’m a huge supporter of eating locally sourced foods and am proud of myself for planning ahead like this.
Anyway, let’s move our microwaves to the other room so they can’t spy on us and bake some mango muffins!
Mango Madness Muffins
Tropical muffins with intense mango flavor, topped with pineapple frosting and toasted coconut.
- 1/2 cup salted butter
- 3/4 cup sugar
- 2 cups frozen mango, thawed and pureed (equals 1 cup mango puree)
- 1 1/4 cup all purpose flour
- 2 tsp baking powder
- 2 eggs
- 1/2 tsp vanilla
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Line muffin pan with paper cups.
Beat butter until pale and creamy.
Add sugar, and beat until light and fluffy.
Add eggs one at a time, beat well.
Add mango puree, mix until fully incorporated.
In a separate bowl, whisk flour and baking powder together.
Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients, mix well.
Spoon batter into muffin cups, and bake for 20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Remove from oven, remove muffins from muffin tin and cool completely on cooling racks before frosting.
Adapted from King Arthur Flour's pineapple frosting recipe.
- 3/4 cup pineapple juice
- 1/2 cup unsalted butter
- pinch salt
- 1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
- 2/12 cups confectioner's sugar
- 1/4 cup shredded coconut, toasted
Pour pineapple juice into small saucepan, cook over medium-high heat until boiling. Reduce heat to medium and simmer until the juice is reduced to about 3 tablespoons of juice. (The juice will become thick and syrupy.)
Transfer juice to heat-safe bowl and cool to room temperature.
Beat together butter, salt, and vanilla until fluffy.
Add sugar and juice, beat well.
After muffins are completely cooled, pipe or spread the frosting on them. Sprinkle with toasted coconut.
When I piped my frosting onto the mango muffins, I decided to make the frosting look like Trump’s hair. (Harder than expected.) First I made a few short lines like so:
And then some J shapes like so:
And then I just went crazy and layered the frosting on all wonky like:
Be sure to leave a bald patch at the back because we all know he’s hiding one and you’re shooting for accuracy here.
There you have it! Mango Madness Muffins with perfectly sculpted Trump hair!
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